I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. Maya Angelou

This wasn't easy.  

The beauty of the Miss America Organization is the opportunity to choose a personal platform and be able to represent that cause in an extremely meaningful and remarkable way.  However, like most, my chosen platform is not the only cause I hold dear to my heart.  

This past saturday, I was in my bathroom with some Hunter Hayes Pandora on while drying my hair.  As I parted the next section to dry, I looked at my self in the mirror and saw it. Immediately I called my mom into my room and had her affirm what I already knew to be true. 

My alopecia is back...

I was diagnosed with alopecia areata for the first time in Kindergarden.  I was a six year old wrongly being accused of pulling my eyelashes out, and thus caused to sleep with eyepatches until it was later discovered that I had alopecia.  For those of you who aren't familiar with alopecia, its an autoimmune disease where your body attacks hair follicles in concentrated areas or in more serious cases in someones whole body.  Thankfully, my case has never been quite that serious, but being a girl it hasn't made things easy.  My condition, when I was younger, was easily treated with a topical gel applied to my eyelids.  As I grew older, the spots got larger, more frequent, and were slightly more stubborn.  Each spot (I feel like a dalmatian calling them spots but its the best word I can come up with) now means a series of injections in whatever location the alopecia has taken to. I have received injections in both eyelids and my scalp more times than I can count, and it still isn't any less painful nor am I used to them by now.  

I debated writing this blog because naturally, as a female in her twenties, highlighting a flaw isn't necessarily something I'm excited about doing, but thinking about it I felt I had to.  Not because I had some "world peace" type of pageantry attitude, but because if this organization taught me anything, its that you'll never give yourself a fair shot at anything if you don't lay it all out there.  The women who year after dreadful twenty-fourth year compete to represent these prestigious titles are dedicating their time in preparations to have the chance to hold the microphone this crown comes with.  

Now, microphone in hand, I'm empowered to highlight something in my life that I literally have spent my time combing over (pun intended).  I am so fortunate that I have had the luxury of being able to hide the small bald spots and glue on some lashes when they're missing.  

We are all human.  We go through stuff.  We all have our insecurities, but they make us who we are.  I have learned that no matter how much you want to crawl up into a ball and not leave your house until your eyelashes grow back, life must go on.  You're never going to be the only one going through something so remember your compassion for people.  And, the moments where we choose to not let those little imperfections keep us down are where the magic happens.  Heres to making some magic this year :)

National Alopecia Areata Foundation for more in formation on alopecia and how you can help.